Gone the Light the World Knew!

A reflection for Orthodox Great and Holy Friday

I've always taken Athanasius' On the Incarnation as a Christmas (not an Easter) book, but as I found myself reading from it this week, I was struck by Athanasius' total and complete resolve in the power of the Cross. He masterfully goes into so many elements of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection and why each of these are absolutely essential for Christ's saving act: the vertical appearance of the Cross as opening a gate between us and the Father in Heaven, the necessary day between His death and resurrection, in case we had any doubts that Christ had truly and completely died before He rose again. Athanasius isn't even twenty years old and already he has zero doubt in the necessity of what needed to happen for Christ to save the world.


It was Athanasius' confidence that exposed my lack. No matter how many times we journey through Holy Week, there always comes a moment in the Church's dramatic invitation, Her re-membering of the most sacred events of the story of Her Bridegroom, that I get turned around. Whether I know the ending of the story or not, there always comes a moment in which I still think something is going wrong. 


If you ever have the chance to attend an Orthodox Holy Friday Lamentations service, happening this evening across the globe and featuring ancient hymns sung from the perspective of Mary, I haven't found anything else that so clearly and beautifully voices this same sense of unease, of sincere tragedy. For who else could feel the seeming tragedy of Our Lord's crucifixion more acutely than His own mother?


When the Ewe that bare him 

Saw them slaying her Lamb, 

Tossed by swelling waves of pain she wailed forth her woe 

And moved all the flock to join her bitter cries.


Gone the Light the world knew!

Gone the Light that was mine!

O my Jesus, that art all of my heart's desire:

So the Virgin spoke lamenting at thy grave.


​​​​​​​And yet, if you follow these hymns long enough, you see the constant back and forth from grief to resolve. Even Mary knows her own grief is shortsighted; she knows, somehow, that the suffering of her Son is not the end.


When, O Christ our Maker,

Thou was laid in thy tomb, 

The foundation stones of Hades with ruin shook,

And the graves of mortal men were opened wide.


If Athanasius is right that every aspect of Christ's journey to and through the Cross was ordained, maybe our wavering from the heights of Palm Sunday to the depths of Holy Friday (as it must have been, too, for His disciples) is ordained, too. Maybe we are supposed to feel this inevitable unease, even two thousand years later, only that our final hope in the resurrection may be all the sweeter.

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By Luke Taylor Gilstrap July 31, 2026
"What is it that has ordered the things of heaven and those of earth, the things which move through the air and those which move in the water; nay, rather the things which proceeded them: heaven and earth and the natures of fire and water? What is it that combined and arranged them...set them into motion and put them on their unceasing and unhindered course?..But who is the architect of these things? Or did not he who made them also bring them into being? We shall certainly not attribute such power to spontaneity." On the Orthodox Faith, Chapter 3 This comes after St. John of Damascus sets out to delineate between the created and the uncreated, a fact which, while at the core of existence, seems for him to be, for this very reason, the simplest to believe. Everything but God is created and, thus, susceptible to change. This means people, but this also means demons, angels, the rest of the created order across the entire cosmos. Everything is vulnerable to unrest. Except for God. If you have ever tried to explain the Holy Trinity to a child for the first time, maybe you have felt as I have the weightier, inexpressible side of God's unchangeability: how do I possibly communicate this essential fact to the person in front of me? (This is usually when my faint stutter starts to pop up again.) I like that here, like St. Patrick reaching for a three-leaf clover, St. John brings us back to earth to better understand the cosmos. Fire and water are no less mysteries than heaven and earth. And yet here we are, cooking and washing, eating and drinking, filled and sustained on what we can neither fully explain nor claim to have created. Only God is unchanging. Vice versa, God is the only constant we need. Maybe the rest is better left unsaid. LUKE TAYLOR GILSTRAP is Vice President of the Board of Directors for Eighth Day Institute. His poems have appeared in Spiritus, Ekstasis (Christianity Today), and Relief Journal, among others. He lives happily in Wichita, Kansas with his wife and three sons.
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"Now, one who would speak or hear about God should know beyond any doubt that in what concerns theology and the Incarnation not all things are inexpressible and not all are capable of expression, and neither are all things unknowable nor are they all knowable. That which can be known is one thing, whereas that which can be said is another, just as it is one thing to speak and another to know. Furthermore, many of those things about God which are not clearly perceived cannot be fittingly described, so that we are obliged to express in human terms things which transcend the human order. Thus, for example, in speaking about God we attribute to Him sleep, anger, indifference, hands and feet, and the like." On the Orthodox Faith, Chapter 2 When I was studying Fiction in graduate school, one of the first methods I learned to really situate the reader in the story you were about to tell them was disorientation; if you wanted to ground them in one story, first you had pull the rug out from under their feet. So it's fitting that in the beginning of St. John Damascene's On the Orthodox Faith, before rebuilding our foundation, he first puts us squarely in limbo, seesawing back and forth between certainty and uncertainty. To paraphrase, there is no doubt (certainty) that about God some things can be expressed...but not all things (uncertainty). Some things about God are truly knowable (certainty), but some are unknowable (uncertainty). Oh, and while we're speaking about God (certainty), let's admit there's a gap, too, between what we say and what we know (uncertainty). My favorite line in this spiraling excerpt, "...it is one thing to speak, and another to know," takes me back to the final lines in Wendell Berry's poem, "How to Be a Poet," which he wrote primarily as a reminder to himself: Accept what comes from silence. Make the best you can of it. Of the little words that come out of the silence, like prayers prayed back to the one who prays, make a poem that does not disturb the silence from which it came. Wherever your preferences fall on the cataphatic or apophatic spectrum of theology (whether you lean more toward what we can say about God or what we cannot), Berry's poem, I think, would nod along with St. John: before we say too much, let our words be preserved by the silence from which they came. I'm thinking of the silence, that filling, restorative quiet I feel when I step into a cathedral or in some of my favorite moments with my kids in the early hours. Even before praying, can we hear the One already praying in us? ​​​​​​​Let's start there. LUKE TAYLOR GILSTRAP is Vice President of the Board of Directors for Eighth Day Institute. His poems have appeared in Spiritus, Ekstasis (Christianity Today), and Relief Journal, among others. He lives happily in Wichita, Kansas with his wife and three sons.
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