Love of Husband and Wife Is a Force that Wields Society Together

A certain wise man, when enumerating which blessings are most important included “a wife and husband who live in harmony” (Sir. 25:1). In another place he emphasized this: “A friend or a companion never meets one amiss, but a wife with her husband is better than both” (Sir. 40:23). From the beginning God in His providence has planned this union of man and woman, and has spoken of the two as one: “male and female He created them” (Gen. 1:27) and “there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). There is no relationship between human beings so close as that of husband and wife, if they are united as they ought to be. [...] Can you see now how close this union is, and how God providentially created it from a single nature? He permitted Adam to marry Eve, who was more than sister or daughter; she was his own flesh! God cause the entire human race to proceed from this one point of origin. He did not, on the one hand, fashion woman independently from man; otherwise man would think of her as essentially different from himself. Nor did He enable woman to bear children without man; if this were the case she would be self-sufficient. Instead, just as the branches of a tree proceed from a single trunk, He made the one man Adam to be the origin of all mankind, both male and female, and made it impossible for men and women to be self-sufficient. [...] Can you see now how close this union is, and how God providentially created it from a single nature? He permitted Adam to marry Eve, who was more than sister or daughter; she was his own flesh! God cause the entire human race to proceed from this one point of origin. He did not, on the one hand, fashion woman independently from man; otherwise man would think of her as essentially different from himself. Nor did He enable woman to bear children without man; if this were the case she would be self-sufficient. Instead, just as the branches of a tree proceed from a single trunk, He made the one man Adam to be the origin of all mankind, both male and female, and made it impossible for men and women to be self-sufficient.

[...] The wisdom of Christ, so great and forceful, is sufficient, especially in the matter of the wife’s subjection. “A man shall leave his father and mother,” he says; but he does not say, “he shall dwell with,” but instead, “he shall cling” to his wife, thus demonstrating the closeness of the union, and the sincerity of the love. And Paul is not satisfied even with this, but goes further, explaining the subjection of the wife in the contest of the two being no longer two. He does not say “one spirit” or “one soul” (union like this is possible for anyone), but he says “one flesh.” The wife is a secondary authority, but nevertheless she possesses real authority and equality of dignity while the husband retains the role of headship; the welfare of the household is thus maintained. Paul uses the example of Christ to show that we should not only love but also govern, “that she might be holy and without blemish” (v. 27). The word “flesh” and the phrase “shall cling” both refer to love, and making her “holy and without blemish” refer to headship. Do both these things and everything else will follow. Seek the things which please God, and those which please man will follow soon enough. Instruct your wife, and your whole household will be in order and harmony. Listen to what Paul says: “If there is anything they desire to know, let them ask their husbands at home” (1 Cor. 14:35). If we regulate our households in this way, we will also be fit to oversee the Church, for indeed the household is a little Church. Therefore, it is possible for us to surpass all others in virtue by becoming good husbands and wives.

*Reprinted in Eighth Day Moot 3.1. Excerpted from Homily 20 on Ephesians 5:22-33 in St John Chrysostom, On Marriage and Family Life, translated by Catherine P. Roth and David Anderson (Crestwood, NY: St Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 2000), 43-64. Available for purchase at Eighth Day Books.